Importance of family

Posted: April 17, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

I’ve since made it no secret that I have a pretty fucked up past. Whilst I left out plenty of detail simply because I couldn’t pull the right words to discuss it, I’m sure you get the idea based on my previous entries.

I no longer have anything to do with my mother and as far as I’m concerned, she doesn’t exist whatsoever. You might think this to be quite sad, however, if you refer back to my previous article on how our lives and characters shape who we are you’ll learn to accept that because you had a rather normal childhood, the thought of not having or accepting you have a mother is one that’s difficult to fathom. Therefore I don’t expect you to understand, but for the interest of this entry, I’ll continue on anyhow.

Having no mother at aged 11 brought on many challenges of which I’ve previously discussed, but you learn to adapt from the way to live your life to tackling the vast challenges you face. Through my later teens and early twenties I had become quite vocal to my friends and people close to me of my situation growing up and they found it very difficult to understand. I’d spend so much time telling people I don’t care about my mothers, I don’t even feel or think about her. These people wouldn’t accept my views and opinions on the matter and insisted deep down I had feelings for her and that I cared bout her very much. This agitated me because here I was telling people how I felt and thought of the situation knowing they had not gone through it, only for them to tell me how I really felt and thought?

What right do people have to tell me how I feel when they couldn’t possibly put themselves in my position. They can try imagine, but frankly, if you haven’t experienced my situation then how could you possibly imagine what I’ve been through? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to dwell on my situation or get all down and out about it, but for my friends to understand why I am the way I am, they need to know as to not get the wrong idea when I react or respond a particular way to a conversation and/or situation.

In reality, I really envy anyone who grew up in a complete family. Waking up to a mother and father who both deeply care for you and your future as well as providing the best life for you they possibly could. I never had this and I truly envy those who had a great childhood. It makes me smile knowing other people in the world got to have what I didn’t. I’m not a greedy person by any stretch of the imagination, whilst I envy ones childhood, I certainly don’t ‘wish’ I had that childhood as I’m quite content and happy with my life. I accept that what I went through and continue to go through makes me a stronger human being. I know I can help others who have been in my situation. I’m a warrior at heart and I don’t give up EVER.

The one thing that always did bother me though; those very people who had a fantastic childhood would sometimes make the comment in their teens “I hate my parents, I wish they would die. I just wish they would let me do what I wanted and would give me what I wanted”. I could BITCH SLAP those very people for those comments. How dare they say such things with many in the world would die for what they had. How dare they crucify their parents for caring about their life. This rattles my bones to no end and I know it still happens today.

I work for myself mainly, but within a couple of family owned companies. I put my blood and sweat into this place. We don’t make a fortune, but a comfortable living to a degree. I will always fight for a living because I know what’s like to have nothing. I know what it’s like to have everything repossessed due to the actions of a complete selfish person (my mother), so as you could imagine, I certainly won’t put myself back in that situation again. Not while I’m fighting fit, not in this life time. Working for and with family doesn’t come with any benefits though. The constant arguing, the struggle to differentiate boss from employee and employee from boss… it’s a daily struggle to do your job in remember that this is a work place and as such respect must be shown for those who hold positions. That’s easier said than done!

My sister has moved back to Australia after 14 years in Alaska due to family issues. However, her return hasn’t been without problems. Dad and her have not got on at all, and dad’s new wife is certainly making things equally as difficult for her. I’ve tried to stay out of it though because I don’t want to get involved. I only have one side of the story and whilst that is the case, one would assume that regardless of which side of the story you have, we’re all adults and equal respect should be shown. Some of the bullshit my sister has been told from dad is disgusting. Some of his comments are below par and I have lost quite a substantial respect for him. He fought for hell and leather to get her back to Australia to make right all the wrong he did 14-20 years ago only for her to return and get treated the same way. I thought we put this behind us? Why now does it continue?

My dad is quick to make common knowledge of everyone’s mistakes and problems as well as ensuring we all know that we’re to blame for all the screws up’s around here, but does he think at 53 he’s all he can be?

I know I have problems, I know I need help and I know that for the rest of my life I’ll continue to learn, grow, and make myself a better person on a daily basis. This I accept as a human being. This I accept the norm as does 99% of the population. At 53 does he feel he is all he can be? Does he feel the rules don’t apply to him and that what he says is the truth and anything but?

I’m sorry but we’re all paddling the same canoe. We all must work together as a population to improved everything we do in life. Treating people with disrespect and disregard only to tell those very people that’s what they’re doing? I don’t get it. I can’t fathom it and I refuse to accept it. I don’t care if you’re a boss or an employee. Each and every person in a work place, at home, or anywhere in life must treat each other equally to garnish positive results. I just wish everyone around me would see this.

I work so hard to make myself a better person and despite all the bullshit and problems that continues to develop around me, I fight to keep these companies running for my family. I sacrifice my happiness and time for my family all the while it takes a severe toll on my mental state. I make that sacrifice for family! Family in my eyes is important. Without it we don’t have anything because at the end of the day I live and die by one saying.

“When we die, all we take with us are our memories of friends, family and life experiences”.

When I’m on my death bed I like the idea of being able to say I lived a successful and complete life with my friends and family at my side. I’ll be able to think about my life and smile from ear to ear in happiness for all that I have experienced and done whilst helping out as much people in life as I could. That to me is what being successful is all about. Leaving the world knowing you had a positive impact on peoples lives and on this planet.

I feel I’m the only person in my family who feels this way. My whole family went through different challenges and obstacles and it’s shaped who we are as people. None of us are the same and so we don’t have the same views and morals on certain topics of which I imagine is the norm, however I really do feel that some of my views and morals should be taken on board as extremely positive and would change our lives for the better.

In a world filled with negativity and bad things, I’ll raise a beer and smile knowing I’m making change. I’m making a difference be it small or large, I’m playing out my roll on this planet to the best of my ability and if I can change and shape others lives for the better then that’s something I’ll strive for.

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